Tuesday, October 12, 2010


We have been at our church for approximately 16 years. We have been there through 3 pastors and a few Interim Pastors.  When we started going to church there it had so many young families with children and over the years it has gotten down to maybe 1 or 2 kids now in the nursery.  I am not sure what is really going on. Is it the church we are attending? Is it that young families are not attending church as much?  But without many youth at church my daughter has been asking if we can try other Churches.  This is so hard for me.  We have been attending this church for so long.  But I am not feeling the connection with the church body either like I use to.  So I wonder who has moved, me or the church family?  I know it is not God that has moved.  I feel I am closer to God than I have ever been before in my life.  It is so on my heart and I pray about it all the time.  How do you know if it is time for a change?  Can you outgrow a church?




  1. We had been in a similar situation (it sounds JUST LIKE our former church).I believe you can outgrow a church...sometimes a family has to make the move so the children have a safe (and fun) place to grow and be with other like-minded families. And while it's not all about what church "can do for me", we do need to make sure our kids have a nurturing environment where they can grow and ultimately find a place to serve. It is often said that the kids are the church of tomorrow, but they really are TODAY'S church; maturing and learning leadership values and skills along the way.

    Continue to seek the Lord's direction for your family, and may God bless your search with a new church home where you can all blossom and grow!

    Barb :)

  2. Hi, I am new to your blog, so hope you don't mind me leaving a comment. I understand totally how you feel. We have been at our current church for 4 yrs now. We have no more friends there, than when we began.(just the couple we sit next to on the pew): This is a large church, and we have been put in what is called a Homebuilder's Group. This is to make sure that everyone gets to know each family. They switch out the groups every 2 yrs. We are on our second group leaders, and both times we have been forgotten about. 6 months will go by before we are ever contacted to come to another group meeting. I am hurt, that we are there every Sunday, but we are always looked over each time there is a meeting, until months later when someone finally realizes they left out. I am struggling with this and I have no, desire to go back. My husband keeps saying pray, and we aren't going to church to socialize, but it would help to have at least one friend. When my daughter was a teenager, it was important to her to have church friends, and that connection. So I would say even though its hard, make sure you keep your daughter with other young people that she can connect with, and grow friendships with.


  3. Oh, this is a tough one. And, it's a question we recently struggled with. My husband and I were part of a small, but very closely knit, family-like church for most of our married life. The church never seemed to get it's footing. We'd get a few new families, but it seemed that for every new family, 2 other families left.

    Finally, last year, the church was down to about 25 people on a Sunday (including children). We had a decision to make. We really felt it was important for our children to be part of a strong children's ministry (keeping in mind that teaching them about God was OUR primary responsibility). And,we decided to move on.

    We started attending a new church about one year ago and while we really like it, we are still struggling to get to know people/ get involved. And, the little church that we left closed it's doors in August this year.

    It's a hard, hard choice. All I can say is pray.

  4. Over 11 years ago we were at the same crossroads. Johnny and I, as well as his parents and sister's family all regularly attended the church we were all married in and grew up in.

    After time, we felt like we were no longer being spiritually fed- and felt like the oppurtunities to serve were dwindling as well. There was a large amount of "older generation" attendees and they just were so set in thier ways...

    That said, we saught out a new church home. We tried several out... and finally found one that really felt like "home". A place that was truly making an impact both globally and locally. A place that is relevant in thier teachings and committed to serving the Lord.

    It is a very heartbreaking process... we still run into members of our old church and feel "guilty" but sometimes you just need to listen to that call...

    God Bless you Lisa as you move through this process...

  5. Hi I'm new to you blog. I must say it must be the season for this question. I too had been struggling with this question. I raised my children in a community church and it was wonderful. Then It just grew so big that we just felt out of place and disconnected. I have been attending another church for the past 18 months and not feeling connected. I have been praying the GOD will show me the way. I really just didn't know what to do. To GOD be the glory! I feel that he is showing me what to did. Presently, I visiting other churches and in the meantime God provided me with a Tuesday noonday bible study very close to where I work. I say all that to say God will show you the way...