Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Not so nice girls

It is only the 2nd week of school for my youngest.  She is in 8th grade.  I picked her up from volleyball practice and asked her the normal questions.  How was your day?  Do you have any homework?  How was volleyball practice?  At first it was the normal answers.  My day was good.  I kinda have homework but it is not due until after Labor Day so I just thought I would get started on it.  Volleyball was good.  Then it was I just hate lunch.  This is how our conversation went. And she is crying through this.

Why do you hate lunch?

 I get so tired of being pushed around. 

What do you mean pushed around?

Well I will go to sit down at the table I sit at and some one will say you can't sit there.  So I will go some where else at the same table and sit and they will say this is saved.  So I just go down on the end where no one talks to me.

Why is no body talking to you?

Because all the conversation is the middle of the table.

Oh I see.  So can you just sit at another table?

No it is full every where.  That is what I do when I am on the end I look around and see if there is any where else I can sit and there is not.  And anyway everyone gets mad if you switch tables.   And I just think about things like what homework I have and what things I need to do.

Why do they get mad?

I don't know they just do.

Well how can you fix the situation and what can I do to help?

I just don't know mom.     

I am so sorry this is going on.  One thing we can do is to pray about it every morning before we get you to school.  We will pray that you have the wisdom to handle the situation.  We will pray for a good friend.  We will just pray for a good day together. 

Ok she says.

This just breaks my heart in two.  We have taught all our children to be considerate of peoples feelings, do not leave anyone out, be polite.  We are finding that girls can be the meanest of all.  Why is that?  Are parents not teaching their girls how to treat others?  Are parents treating their kids rudely at home and the kids in turn think they can treat others the same way.  Part of me wants to teach her to be mean and tougher but the other half of me knows that is not the Godly way. 

So how would you handle the situation?  Am I handling it right?  My heart is breaking and I just need a little advice. 




  1. Wow I am so sorry to hear that.I do not really have any advice.One of the reasons we started homeschooling was bullying.Bullying is now a major issue at many schools.My Son was only in first grade,and was being bullied by much older kids.He was getting very unsocial.He was afraid to go even to see family.We could not go anywhere.WE brought him home.Started homeschooling,and he was like a new kid.I hate to think of what would have happened,if we let it go on.I know not every family can homeschool.Girls can be very mean.I know from my own school experiences.It is such a hard age already.My heart breaks for your daughter.I will pray for her.Blessings,Marla Grace

  2. Oh so very sorry!!

    Girls are the worst kind of mean. They take your daugters kindness and turn it against her.

    I would pray about the situation of course!

    Closely monitoring the situation is a must because it could escalate but then again it could blow over.

    We will be praying for you as well.

    I would chalk the behaviors up to what these children are watching and there parental involvement. Many of these children have little to no parental involvement. Some come from very broken homes and don't know how to deal with people well at all. The need to feel superior over their peers is also a driving force for some of these girls.

    So sad!

  3. :-( That brings back memories of my school days. I hated school. I hated lunch and the bus ride especially. Kids can be so mean. I changed schools in my junior year and had the same problem... nowhere to sit. I prayed all year for a friend and a place to eat... I made some friends but their lunch time was different then mine. It wasn't until the next year that I was able to eat with friends. I ended up just sitting on the end like your daughter and reading during lunch time. Praying for you and her!

  4. Stopped back by to tell you I awarded you thesunshine award.I hope your daughter had a better day today.Stop by my blog for award info.
    Keep up the beautiful work.
    Blessings,Marla Grace

  5. I think you handled it perfect. Praying about it teachers her to go to the Lord and it opens up the opportunity for her to know she can always go to the Lord. My girls have had the same problems in High School. Girls can be so mean and they cause so much drama. It is heartbreaking when you have to watch them go through that but our job as parents is to teach them to treat others the way God wants them too. I have had many conversations with my girls about the same thing. You did the right thing and now she can watch how the Lord is going to work. Keep us updated on it. I am interested to see what the outcome is.

    Anne @

  6. I also remember being treated unkindly when I was in junior high and high school. I was painfully shy too so it really had an effect on me. I will be praying for you and your daughter. And, I think you handled your conversation with her beautifully. I'm sure that knowing that she has a mom she can talk to means a lot to her.

  7. OMGosh. That is just terrible. I'm praying that things will get better for your daughter. I wish I had some great advice to offer.

    Hi! I am a new blogger (thanks to my daughter) and I am following you via FF over 40; I hope you will follow me back. I've enjoyed browsing your blog and hope you will visit me.

  8. School kids can be mean and I remember well in school, but that was oh so many years ago. We taught our children at home as well. My daughter was in school for awhile, but 1-4 grades in grade school. I will be praying for this lunch room situation. She's not able to sit with any of her friends? Pick out a friend and stay with that friend for lunch and stick up for yourself but don't be mean. Let some love rub off onto others. I'm sure it's hard on her and not easy being a kid. Thoughts, prayers and hugs!